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Single Review: Britney Spears – Hold It Against Me (+ Remixes)

February 18, 2011

I feel a little weird as a 22-year old male reviewing a Britney Spears single, but by reviewing the Lady Gaga single the other day, I made a conscious editorial decision to become a seventh-tier pop culture analyst*, and a new Britney jawn is a cultural landmark, given that it premiered right before the most notable show** on TV right now.  I feel weird not because I’m listening to a Britney Spears song (we used to bump Britney in the basement), but because I feel like an out-of-touch Spin writer talking about the cultural impact of a culture I’m not even a part of.  For fuck’s sake, I’m listening to Radiohead while writing this.

Whatevs tho, I’ll be a young professional soon enough, and you’ll probably be able to catch me in the club soon drinking vodka on the rocks and avoiding eye contact.  And you know what will be playing?  THIS VERY SONG.  Meanwhile, 13-year olds won’t even know how to pronounce dubstep and will be grinding to some Jason Derulo f. Ke$ha and Nikki Minaj jawn at their social.  Britney’s always made music for people ten years younger than her, so maybe I am (sort of) in the intended age group now?  Will Brit be doing adult contemporary in her 60’s?  I bet she’ll age more gracefully than Madonna has.

ANYWAY, this song dropped like a month ago and I initially hated it because I thought it sounded like a half-assed attempt at a Europop song with a dubstep drop thrown in for notoriety.  Much like Deadmau5, people praised it, but I felt it was more for the fact that both artists were doing dubstep rather than the actual quality of the music.  I thought the beat was generic (produced by Dr. Luke, seemingly the producer of every pop song from the last year) and the vocals were shit.

But I watched the video last night, and I was fucking blown away.  This song is an absolute banger.  That beat is fire, the dubstep drop is awesome, and the bridge after the drop is what dreams are made of.  Britney’s part is passable and pretty fucking catchy.  They touched it up a bit since it first dropped, but even at its core this track is ages ahead of pretty much everything else that’s on the radio.  By ages ahead I mean “more European,” but you get the point.  Britney & company created a song pandering to bloggers and clubheads rather than high-schoolers and their mothers.  Britney (‘s marketing staff) has balls, and now she’s effectively raised the bar for American pop music, which is awesome since she’s probably the only singer with a fanbase unconditionally loving enough to make this song successful.

Britney or not, this will be a club staple.  There’s already like 87 remixes of this out.  This will be the “One” of Ultra this year, and I totally commend it.  Even though it’s far from perfect, it’s objectively better than any pop megahit from at least the last few years.  I hated this song for being more style than substance***, but this has mad replay value.

Look, I don’t make music.  That’s why I’m a DJ and a blogger.  I’m in no position to say what’s objectively good and objectively bad, but I am in a position to say what’s safe and derivative, and those tags apply to 99% of music that comes out designated as singles.  I mean, Big Sean just dropped a single with Chris Brown?? Wiz Khalifa doing love tracks?  So yeah, in a sense Britney is winning because the field is so dull – better to be derivative of Europe than the U S of A.  Seriously tho, how dope would it be if you were at the Jersey Shore this summer and all of the songs they played were bangers?  And everyone knew what they were?  If all of the songs on Z100 are half-assed dance songs, why not make the full leap??  I’m not trying to start some cultural revolution, it’s as simple as that there’s absolutely no reason why hot beats shouldn’t be the norm in 2011.  Touche, Britney****.

8/10.

DL:  Britney Spears – Hold It Against Me (320 kbps)

Here are some remixes.  The first two we previously posted, the first is house and the second in dubstep.  The rest are all house mixes and are honestly all worth hearing, so I put up a zip of everything.  The Afrojack-esque Jump Smokers remix is probably my favorite at this point.

DL:  Britney Spears – Hold It Against Me (Jason Parker Extended Mix) (320 kbps)

DL:  Britney Spears f. Lil’ Jon – Hold It Against Me (DJ ESenTriK Re-Fix) (320 kbps)

DL:  Britney Spears – Hold It Against Me (Adrian Lux & Nause Club Mix) (320 kbps)

DL:  Britney Spears – Hold It Against Me (Jump Smokers Extended Mix) (320 kbps)

DL:  Britney Spears – Hold It Against Me (Tommy Sunshine & Figure Edit) (320 kbps)

DL:  Zip of Everything

*  Tryin to get them hits too!

**  Worst JS ep ever??

***  I mean, every pop song is more style than substance, I meant in the context of a club banger

****  /Jive Records

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4 comments

  1. hahaha i’m so proud of you!!!


  2. Yeah I originally didn’t like it cause I don’t like her voice and I hate Dr. Luke. But they touched it up and it’s catchy as fuck so more power to her. The dubstep drop was dope and the bridge was awesome. I don’t know if it’ll cause the paradigm shift that I was talking about – most likely songs will still be shitty AKA this summer will have some song like Dynamite but with a dubstep drop at the end. The hip-hop/EDM mix has also been a disaster in the USA so far but I bet some rapper will come along and make the perfect American hip-hop/EDM hit soon enough (some garbage rapper along the lines of Flo Rida).

    I also didn’t give Rihanna enough credit cause she’s pretty ahead of the curve and Only Girl would get 11/10 if I reviewed it here. So yeah, thesis of this comment is that I don’t think pop music will get better, it will just have more of a European influence but still be watered down as hell. Props to Britney for having a good one tho.


  3. […] 04. BRITNEY SPEARS – HOLD IT AGAINST ME (JUMP SMOKERS remix) […]


  4. […] Ke$ha – Blow (Cirkut Remix) @ 31 min 15. Tiesto & Hardwell – Zero 76 @ 35 min 16. Britney Spears – Hold It Against Me (Jump Smokers Remix) @ 39 min 17. Katy Perry – Teenage Dream (Kaskade Remix) @ 42 min 18. Katy Perry – E.T. […]



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